Holding space for complexity, pain, and compassion

Date: 20 October 2023
Author: Rabbi Debora S. Gordon

This is based on a letter I wrote to parents connected with our community. Then I realized that it's really for all of us:

This is a very difficult time for Jews and people who are part of Jewish families. It's a very difficult time for people who care about what's happening in Israel and Gaza. Our hearts are hurting. And still, daily life still goes on. Our children need us. Our parents need us. Our spouses need us. Our pets need us. We have work to do. It's hard.

Now is a time to interrupt isolation and be together. I hope you'll come to the synagogue, to sing, to eat, to pray, to talk, to learn, to cry, to do Tikkun Olam (world-repair, social justice)... I hope you'll bring your energy and ideas and make use of this beautiful space to bring them to life.

I want you to know that Berith Sholom is a safe space for people who have a multiplicity of political views. I hold a space of compassion, and many, many Berith Sholom community members help me do it.

If you are not particularly tuned into what's happening in Israel and Gaza, that's ok. You've got a life to live and children to raise. Come celebrate Shabbat with community!

If you are aching with what's happening in Israel and Gaza, please read on:

Please know that wherever you find yourself politically, Berith Sholom is a home for people of compassion. You are welcome, and it is my intention that everyone who comes feels safe. I am committed to holding space at Berith Sholom where the suffering of both Israelis and Palestinians, and other people who are caught up in this terrible conflagration, is honored, where grief is not one-sided.

If you are connected to people all around, there's no choice but to care about them all. You may or may not be feeling that two-sided-ness right now, and that's ok. It is exponentially more difficult right now. Many, many in our local communities are traumatized, fearful for themselves here and/or loved ones there, shocked, outraged, and grieving. It's natural and easy to open our hearts in compassion to the suffering of people we are intimately connected with. It may be very hard, right now, to open our hearts in compassion for the suffering of people we aren't close to. Trauma interrupts our ability to be our best selves, the compassionate people we try to be and want to raise our children to be. I honor that difficulty and I don't ask you to be different. You are welcome as you are.

It's ok to be where you are, emotionally. All I ask is that you are gentle with yourself and with whomever you meet.

In peace, in compassion, and with the hope for the future that raising children brings to us. May all our children grow up in a world that we are actively repairing. May all our children know peace.